Chicks Dig It
by Peechy-Keen
Summary: "Pain hurts, but only for a minute. Yeah, life is short so go on and live it 'cause the chicks dig it." Mikey's enthusiasm has a knack for getting him in some scrapes. Let's hope Don recently restocked his med kit.


**A/N: Thought I'd give a songfic a go. I encourage you all to listen to this song before reading because it is seriously **_**MIKEY'S **_**song. I laughed when I first heard it because it fit him so well. The song is **_**Chicks Dig It **_**by Chris Cagle.**

**Many thanks go to TapTim for beta-reading this. ^^ I encourage you all to go check out her profile.**

**Disclaimer: No Turtles were owned in the making of this fic. Oh, and no Spidey's, either.**

_**Daddy's belt, momma's drapes  
Standin' tall on the backyard shed  
Lookin' cool in my superman cape**_

The Turtle Titan, alias Michelangelo, surveyed his surroundings from his vantage point atop an old brick warehouse. The night was young, and he was eager to defend the fair citizens of his city from the perils that lurked in the shadows. As he adjusted the loose fastening around his neck, trying to ignore how itchy the cape's fabric was, a shrill scream tore through the relative calm.

Mikey grinned and proceeded to narrate aloud. "And thus, our hero, the Turtle Titan, was aroused by the desperate cries of a fair damsel in distress!"

_**I told the neighborhood girl  
Say hey y'all watch this**_

Orienting on the direction of the scream, Mikey ran to the far side of the rooftop and halted just short of the edge, peering down. A particularly sleazy-looking Purple Dragon had a young woman backed against an alley wall, a knife held lazily to her neck.

"Scream again, lady, and it'll be the last time ya do. Now, gimme yer purse!"

The woman, wide-eyed and trembling, fumbled clumsily with her bag before shoving it into the crook's hands. "Please, just take it and leave me alone!"

Despite the present circumstances, Mikey whistled and mumbled to himself, "Check her out: she's a babe! Aw, dude! This is gonna be so awesome!" Straightening and throwing back his shoulders heroically, his thumbs hooked in his belt, he called out boldly, "Fear not, young maiden! The Turtle Titan is here!"

Reluctantly tearing her gaze from the knife, the woman's head snapped up, surprise clearly etched into her face. The Purple Dragon followed her gaze and scowled, shuffling a few steps away. "Time ta book. There's one witness too many." Clutching the purse in his hand, he sped off toward the sidewalk.

Mikey chuckled. "Ho, ho! Nice try, dude, but no villain can escape the Turtle Titan!" He favored the befuddled woman below with a quick wink before whipping out his grappling hook, twirling it expertly, and letting it fly. He smiled smugly as it latched onto the ledge of the adjacent building. "Check this out!"

_**My fate was a broken arm  
My reward one big kiss**_

"_Ow! Ow! OW! _Dude, careful!"

Donatello rolled his eyes as he set Mikey's broken arm. "How, again, did this happen?"

Biting back another yelp of pain, Mikey grinned sheepishly. "Well, I was out as my alter ego and—"

"You mean the Turtle Titan?" Don struggled in vain to keep the condescension out of his tone and the smirk off his face.

Hastily, Mikey clamped his hand over Don's mouth, looking about, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Shhhh! You're gonna blow my secret identity! What if an arch nemesis has this place bugged?"

Slightly amused at his brother's absurd sincerity, Don patiently peeled Mikey's hand off of his face and quirked an eye-ridge. "Do you even _have_ an arch nemesis?"

"You never know, dude."

Donatello fought the urge to roll his eyes again. "Anyway, if the 'arch nemesis' of the _Turtle Titan_," he ignored Mikey's wince, "bugged the home of mild-mannered _Michelangelo_, then wouldn't that imply that he already knew your secret identity?"

As Mikey paused to mull over his brother's words, Don executed a quick motion, snapping the bones in Mike's arm back into place.

"_OW!"_

_**When daddy asked me why I did it  
I made him laugh out loud when I told him  
'Cause the chicks dig it**_

Don didn't bother to look up as he bound Mikey's arm in a splint. Speaking in a detached, clinical tone, he inquired, "So, what happened, again?"

Biting his lip and glancing nervously away from his arm, Mikey chuckled. "Well, hot girl was cornered by ugly PD. Ugly PD saw the Turtle Titan, and in his fear, tried to make a break for it with hot girl's purse. Turtle Titan tried to swing down from a four-story building using his grappling hook, but in mid-air, the rope snapped. Ugly PD broke Turtle Titan's fall; Turtle Titan broke his arm."

Donny shook his head, smiling in spite of himself. "Was the grappling hook necessary? You could have simply used the fire escape to jump down. Shell, was the whole Turtle Titan persona necessary? It's tacky and superfluous, if you ask me."

Mikey pouted. "But Donnyyyyy..."

"Don't 'but Donny' me. Honestly, Mikey. Why did you do it?"

At this, Mikey could only grin as he turned his head and pointed to the hot pink lipstick smudge on his cheek. "Simple, dude. The chicks dig it."

_**Scars heal, glory fades  
And all we're left with are the memories made  
Pain hurts, but only for a minute  
Yeah life is short so go on and live it  
'Cause the chicks dig it**_

"Can I keep my cast, Donny? I like the Leo caricature that Raph drew."

Don laughed at the memory. "Yeah, sure."

His arm finally free after its long recovery, Mikey worked it in experimental circles. "Good as new! Thanks, bro."

Setting aside the cast to add to the others, Donny crossed his arms and smirked. "So, was it worth it?"

Mikey looked up from his arm and flashed his brother a winning smile. "What do you think, dude?"

_**Black top road  
Learner permit  
Thought I was Earnhardt**_

It was Mikey's turn to make the pizza run. As he sat on the Shell Cycle at the stoplight, he shifted restlessly in his baggy leather jacket and pulled at the thick leather pants riding up his crotch. _Geez, I know this get-up's for protection and concealment an' all, but would it have killed Raph to buy something more comfortable?_

As Mikey scowled moodily behind his helmet, mentally cursing Turtle Luck for stranding him at every stoplight he came to that night, an open convertible pulled up beside him, occupied by several attractive women. Glancing over and taking notice of Mikey, one girl laughed flirtatiously and blew a kiss.

At the gesture, Mikey's breath hitched in delight behind his tinted face shield, and his stomach flipped. Puffing out his chest slightly, he gave a casual salute to the group of giggling girls.

Then, the light turned green.

_**Drivin' fast but I didn't see the ditch  
Took out a mailbox, then a fence and then a barn**_

Drunk off of his hormones, Mikey decided against his better judgment—if he ever had any to begin with—to try and impress the girls by popping a wheelie. Raph did it all the time, anyway, so how hard could it be?

Mikey revved the bike, leaning back, his fingers twitching in anticipation as their grip tightened on the bars.

_**The police came and called my father  
But I met the farmer's daughter**_

"Dude! Gentle!"

Donny sighed in exasperation as he bandaged some nasty cuts and scrapes on Mikey's leg. "Why, again, did you try and pop a wheelie?"

Mikey hissed as Don's fingers brushed against a particularly tender bruise. "Seemed like a good idea at the time…"

"And, _obviously_, your ideas are _always _good." Don gave Mikey a light smack on the head. "Doofus."

Adopting a dramatically-offended expression, Mikey crossed his arms and winced as he aggravated several cuts with the movement. "We could do without the sarcasm, thanks."

"And I could do without the medical expenses."

Packing away the gauze, Don's eyes flicked critically to his brother's face. "You're lucky that you got out of there before any good Samaritans tried to stop and help you. Leo would have flipped if you were _seen_."

Mikey chuckled nervously and twiddled his thumbs. "Yeah, but Leo is the least of my problems... Do you think Raph'll kill me for abandoning his bike in the wreck?"

"That's an understatement."

Mikey swallowed hard. "…Hide me, dearest brother of mine? …Please?"

"Sorry, but I don't have a death wish."

_**And when the judge asked me why I did it  
He threw the book at me when I told him  
"'Cause the chicks dig it'"  
**_

Clicking the med kit shut, Don carried the box over to an open closet. As he tucked the kit back into its place on an easily-accessible shelf, he called over his shoulder, "So, why did you do it, this time?"

"Oh!" Mikey eagerly plunged his hand into his belt, pulling out a folded sheet of paper. "Check it out, bro!" He flipped it to Donny.

Turning, Don caught the crumpled square of paper and unfolded it, scanning it briefly. "Phone numbers?" He looked up at his brother's beaming face. "Oh, no, Mike. You didn't."

Mikey shrugged. "What? The chicks dig it!"

_**Scars heal, glory fades  
And all we're left with are the memories made  
Pain hurts, but only for a minute  
Yeah life is short so go on and live it  
'Cause the chicks dig it**_

Sitting on his brother's shell, Raphael repeatedly thrust Mikey's face into the concrete floor. "_I can't believe ya totaled my bike_!"

"Ow, ow, ow! Easy, bro! I already have a bunch of scars from that crash!"

Snarling, Raph raised a fist threateningly. "Well, guess yer gonna havta add a few more to da list!"

Mikey braced himself, eyes squeezed shut. "It was worth it!"

_**Just throw caution to the wind my friend  
Then sit back and watch your life begin, 'cause  
**_

The Turtles had been interrupted on a rooftop run by a gang of Foot ninja. As Mikey struggled to hold his own against a clutch of particularly large and muscular soldiers, he received a solid kick to the plastron. Backing up several feet to regain his balance, he felt a mental jolt as his right foot stepped out into air. Frantically waving his arms to right himself, Mikey was thrown off the edge of the roof by two synchronized kicks.

Before he could meet the pavement, he managed to flip his body in mid-air and land with a solid _thud_ on the fire escape below. Peering over the edge at their quarry, the ninja dropped down to engage him. As each massive body landed on the ancient, rusted metalworking, the platform groaned in protest.

Mikey looked down at his feet and back up as the entire frame shifted with a sick snap. "Uh, dudes? I think this ride has a weight limit."

Glancing nervously down at their own feet, the ninja held a silent exchange with one another and flipped up onto a higher level of the fire escape.

About to follow suit, Mikey halted, knees bent, as a lone pedestrian passing on the sidewalk below caught his eye. She was oblivious to the imminent danger threatening to crush her from above.

His mind racing, Mikey felt another jolt as the structure beneath him gave a final screech and broke free from the side of the building. Halting in her steps, the woman's head jerked up at the noise and she froze in terror as the platform began to fall.

Mikey sucked in a short breath and tucked his nunchucks in his belt. "This is either gonna be really cool, or really painful."

_**Scars heal, glory fades  
And all we're left with are the memories made  
Pain hurts, but only for a minute  
Yeah life is short so go on and live it  
'Cause the chicks dig it**_

Diving off the falling platform with a hard kick and flying past it as he fell, Mikey had just enough time to solidly plant his feet on the sidewalk beside the woman and push her down as he bent over her. The framework collided with his shell and he threw back his shoulders, bearing the weight as best he could.

The woman lay sprawled on the sidewalk, gaping up at him in utter bewilderment and shock, her jaw slightly slack. Quickly giving herself a shake, she whispered, "Who-what-how—?"

Mikey grinned as sweat began to bead on his forehead. "Sorry, dudette, but could we save the questions for another day? This thing's kinda heavy."

Eying the sheer mass of the structure, the woman nodded vigorously, comically resembling a bobblehead doll. As she moved to crawl to safety, she stopped. Frowning thoughtfully for a moment, she held up a finger. "One thing real quick, though."

Mikey grunted as he heaved up against the crushing fire escape. He flashed her an urgent look. "S'long as it's _real _quick."

Brushing her hair out of her face, the woman leaned forward and gave Mikey a light peck on the cheek. "Thanks."

Mikey's face went blank—Mr. Charisma finally at a loss for words—as the woman crawled backward on her hands and feet, standing and straightening once she was out of harm's way.

Pulling himself out of his stupor, Mikey blinked and ground out, "Um, you might wanna run, dudette." He nodded upward.

Several of the ninja had watched the scene, hoping that the turtle would be crushed under the weight, but to no immediate avail. Since luck was clearly not with them that night, they began to descend what remained of the fire escape to finish the job.

Her eyes widening at the drawn swords, the woman nodded and sped off down the sidewalk.

Watching the woman's retreating form, Mikey grinned to himself. The grin, however, was immediately wiped from his face when his knees buckled.

_**Scars heal, glory fades  
And all we're left with are the memories made  
Pain hurts, but only for a minute  
Yeah life is short so go on and live it**_

"_Ow_!"

"_Hold still_!"

As Don bandaged Mikey's head, the oranged-masked turtle squirmed.

"Honestly, Mikey, if that wasn't the most boneheaded stunt yet..."

"What? I saw something like it in _Spiderman_. Thought it'd be cool."

Don groaned and ran his hand over his face. "Haven't you learned yet? Cool for you is the equivalent of patch-up time with Donny. Also, they're called _movies_, and not _documentaries_, for a reason."

Cringing at the throbbing in his skull, Mikey chortled, "Yeah? Well, if you ask me, I think someone's jealous."

Giving the bandage a harder jerk than necessary and smiling with satisfaction at Mikey's yelp, Donny rolled his eyes—a reaction that was rapidly becoming habitual in the day-to-day exchanges he held with his younger brother. "Sure, Mike. Whatever you say." After he tied off the wrap, Don nodded and pat Mikey on the shoulder. "Okay, you're done."

"_Wahoo_!" The orange-masked turtle jumped down from the examination table, but grimaced as the movement jarred his head.

Don frowned disapprovingly. "Be careful, Mikey. You don't want to irritate it."

"Yeah, kinda figured that out, Don."

_**It don't matter if you lose or if you win it  
Hey the chicks dig it**_

Shaking his head, Donatello packed away the medical supplies for what would most certainly _not_ be the last time. "I think I can guess why you did it, bro."

Mikey glanced over his shoulder and beamed.

_**The chicks dig it  
The chicks dig it**_

Together, the two chorused, "'Cause the chicks dig it."

_**The chicks dig it**_

**A/N: Hope y'all enjoyed it! =D Reviews would be nice. Don't be discouraged if it's an anonymous review, either. I love 'em all, though, I can respond to signed reviews. **


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